


Sanctuary

by thequietrecluse



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Joshua Jeonghan Jun and Wonwoo are high school teachers, M/M, Minor Swearing, Seungcheol and Soonyoung are recording artists, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Vaguely chaebol like, Woozi is a music producer, minor jeongcheol, you'll see what i mean when you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequietrecluse/pseuds/thequietrecluse
Summary: Despite Joshua’s meek attitude and terrible romantic life, he did, in fact, protest his grandfather’s decision to put him in an arranged marriage with Woozi, a famous music producer who also happened to be the oldest grandson of an almost retiring business chair of some bigwig South Korean empire of some sort but most importantly, happened to be gay.





	1. I need more affection than you know

Joshua Hong was apparently a really bad boyfriend. He didn’t know why, or even if it was true, but considering the many, _many_ failed dates he’s had, he was fully convinced that he’s doing something wrong. He just wished he knew _what._ He would have asked his previous dates, but it would be quite possibly the most awkward question he could ask a guy after being rejected or broken up with, and he would definitely come off as desperate. He was not that desperate... yet.

Maybe it was because he was too boring. He was a generally quiet and soft-spoken guy, yes, but there was more to him than just that. He liked anime. He played the guitar. He used to be in his church choir and had performed at some of their services. He loved eating pizza and chocolate--just not together. He didn’t want to change himself for others, but no one could see past his unassuming, passive exterior and it was frustrating. It didn’t help that most women saw him as the gentlemanly prince they’d dreamed of when they were kids. He hated having to turn them down time after time simply because he wasn’t interested in women when every man he was interested in turned him down because he was too _much_ like the prince girls dreamed of: polite and chivalrous and almost nothing else.

Despite Joshua’s meek attitude and terrible romantic life, he did, in fact, protest his grandfather’s decision to put him in an arranged marriage with Woozi, a famous music producer who also happened to be the oldest grandson of an almost retiring business chair of some bigwig South Korean empire of some sort but most importantly, happened to be gay. His grandfather had said something about the only way Woozi being allowed to keep his job and prevent becoming the family heir was to get an arranged marriage. Coincidentally, Joshua’s grandfather was the CEO of a rather well-known US company, and proposed a business merge, and offered up Joshua as a sacrificial lamb. So now here he was, telling Joshua that he was going to get married to somebody whose real name he doesn’t even know.

He argued with his grandfather for _hours_ , voice rising above the soft tones he’s known for and becoming more and more agitated by the minute. His grandfather, however, was firm in his decision. He wanted to retire, but the company was on fragile ground, and he needed some financial stability and strong leader in place before he could step down. No one in the family was in the business industry and no one working for the company was good enough to his grandfather, so the business merge was the next best thing.

As much as Joshua wants to not back down and fight this injustice, he could understand why his grandfather was forcing this on him. His grandfather’s health had been declining the last few years, and while he refused to retire, Joshua knew he wouldn’t be able to keep working for long. If Joshua refused, his grandfather would probably work himself to an early death, and that was the last thing he wanted. There was also something strange about the request as a whole. His grandfather would never have even considered the arranged marriage if it was just to seal the business merge. There had to be something about Woozi to make his grandfather agree. His grandfather wouldn’t ask him to do this if he didn’t think Woozi needed his help.

In the end, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get out of the marriage, and one random weekend towards the end of winter, when it’s just starting to warm up, but everything is mushy and soggy and all-around _not_ wedding weather, Joshua marries Woozi, whose real name is Lee Jihoon, in the most unromantic ceremony known to man. There’s no hint of affection in the vows, in the audience’s faces, or in _Jihoon’s_ face. Hell, they don’t even kiss: it’s just an awkward and impersonal handshake, and then Joshua’s last name magically changes to Hong-Lee. It’s weird, it sounds clunky, and Joshua hates it.

So Joshua Hong, the hopeless romantic and hopelessly single dream prince, becomes Hong-Lee Joshua, husband of fellow Korean and music producer Lee Jihoon, aka Woozi, one of the greatest producers in L.A. and one of the most mysterious ones as well.

 

When he moves in with his new husband, Joshua kind of expects Woozi to live in some fancy, secluded mansion in Beverly Hills, equipped with everything he would need to live on his own for months, almost like a post-apocalyptic bunker. Surprisingly, Joshua finds himself outside a nice condo building in a nice neighborhood. He sees lots of still-bundled up kids running around in the nearby park (surprising given that nowadays most kids are glued to their cell phones) and couples walking their dogs, and it’s such a picture perfect scene of peace and domesticity that Joshua already feels like he’s gonna die.

Woozi’s condo is on the third floor, and Joshua has to cart all of his stuff up six flights of stairs because he hadn’t realized that the building had no elevator (What residence building has _no_ elevator?). He knocks tentatively on the door after obsessively checking and double checking that he has the right address, and waits for his husband (it’s still strange as fuck to say) to open the door.

When he does, Joshua has to tilt his head downward quickly before Woozi notices that he forgot how _short_ his new husband is, because Joshua had quickly noticed at the wedding that despite his cute looks, Woozi wasn’t one to be belittled due to his physical adorableness.

“Joshusa-sshi,” Woozi greets. Joshua flinches slightly at the honorific. He’s forgotten that Woozi was born and raised in Korea, where honorifics are much more important to get correctly, and that a level of formality is applied to everyone older than you, even if that person’s your husband and—theoretically—you should be close enough to said husband to drop said honorifics.

In the end, though, giving a decent response to Woozi is a social norm, so Joshua stammers out an “Eh- uh, hello, Woozi-sshi.” Not exactly the best greeting, but this was a special case. He clears his throat. “Please, just call me Joshua. I’m... I’m not used to honorifics.”

The man in front of him nods in acknowledgement before saying, “then please, call me Jihoon. It’s weird being called by my producer name when I’m not doing work,” as he opens the door wider to let Joshua and his stupid--and _useless--_ handcart full of boxes in.

“Sorry,” he apologizes quietly, nodding slightly at him before he takes in his new surroundings.

It’s a nice house. Ahead of him, the hallway opens up to reveal a spacious living room and dining room, and probably the kitchen to the left at the mouth of the hallway. To his right are two doors on adjacent walls, one open to reveal a laundry room, the other presumably a bedroom: the left seems to be an almost an exact mirror of the right, except the laundry room is a bathroom. It’s not quite decorated, somewhere in between a home decor ad and a warm home: just a touch of personality, but not enough to reflect the overwhelming domesticity Joshua saw outside.

“You’re going to be sleeping with me,” Jihoon says bluntly, as if it wasn’t the most horrifying sentence Joshua had to hear to date. “One of the bedrooms is my studio, and the other is for live recordings. I have real instruments in there in case I don’t want to use the synthesized instruments. I also have a futon in there because I work with my friends and they come over here to record and then crash here because they’re too lazy to go home.”

“Oh, okay,” is all Joshua can say. He doesn’t know what else he _can_ say. The idea of sleeping next to his husband is... _daunting_ , to say the least. But it’d also be too much hassle to take the futon and routinely move in and out whenever Jihoon’s friends come over (which seems like it happens often) so he decides to just deal with sharing the bed. With how nice the condo itself is, he must have a big enough bed so he wouldn’t have to worry.

Jihoon points at the bedroom doors. “The bedroom on your left is my studio. If I’m in there, I usually don’t want to be bothered.” Joshua makes a quick mental note of that. The last thing he needs is to piss off the person he’s staying with. “The bedroom on your right is the live recording room.” He leads Joshua and his stupid handcart deeper into the apartment. The back of the apartment is nearly all windows, revealing a screened porch holding a table, some chairs, and an outdoor couch. It’s unbearably well put together, something Joshua really isn’t (though he acts the part) and he’s suddenly unsure of how he and Jihoon are going to fit together.

Just to the right of the windows is another door, which Jihoon opens. “Here’s my bedroom,” He stops himself, snorting (Joshua can’t tell if it’s a derisive snort or an amused snort, and it’s driving him crazy for some reason) before amending himself, “I guess it’s _our_ bedroom now. I cleared out half of the closet, so you can put your stuff there.”

The bedroom is large. Despite the California King size bed, there’s still enough room for a chaise lounge by the back windows, a dresser, and a mounted flat screen TV to fit comfortably within its confines. On the right wall is an open door that reveals a little foyer and then what is presumably the master bathroom. When Joshua goes to check, however, he realizes that the foyer is actually two fairly spacious closets. The one on the left is open and empty, so he quickly unpacks his handcart, trying his best to get all his clothes on the racks and shelves as fast as possible. Jihoon has already disappeared, and Joshua still feels out of place in his new home. Once he’s done, though, he wanders throughout the condo to realize that Jihoon was nowhere to be found, and his studio door, previously ajar, was closed.

Jihoon must have gone straight back into the studio once his duties were done, Joshua thinks miserably. He really should stop expecting more out of his new arrangement. Jihoon clearly didn’t want anything to do with him.

Sighing, Joshua gets his briefcase and sits at the formal glass dining table, beginning to grade papers.

Several hours pass in stifling silence before Joshua finishes grading. It had been more arduous a task than usual, probably due to all the stress of his personal life, and when he’s done he doesn’t know what to do. It still feels like Joshua was in someone else’s home and not his own, and he’s afraid to touch anything in fear of doing something wrong.

He sighs before tilting his head back and rubbing at his eyes tiredly. He has to get over this stilted, awkward feeling soon, because now there’s nothing he can do to change it. He had given up a long time ago.

After a lonely dinner, Joshua retires to an empty bed, the studio door still resolutely closed shut.

He wakes up to his phone’s blaringly loud alarm from his bedside table, and Joshua nearly rolls out of bed in his haste to turn it off. Beside him, he hears a loud groan and a “For fuck’s sake, make it go away,” that _actually_ startles Joshua, making him yelp in surprise. When had Jihoon gone to bed?

He shakes his head quickly, forcing himself to wake up. He has to get over himself. Sliding out of bed quietly, he pulls the covers back up for Jihoon, who then pulls them over his head eagerly, and goes to take a long, contemplative shower and get ready for work.

After eating a quick breakfast and making sure to gather everything he needs for work, Joshua leaves the condo without a word to his husband.

 

Joshua is sitting at his desk when there’s a knock on the door. When he looks up, he smiles when he recognizes the figure at the door of the classroom. “Jeonghan,” he greets.

“Hello, Joshua,” the lithe biology teacher replies. “How was your weekend?”

He struggles not to wince. How can he explain what was going on? He’s close with Jeonghan, and their friendship goes beyond that of a work relationship, but he isn’t sure how he would react to Joshua’s new relationship status. When he was filling out the paperwork, he had asked for confidentiality and to keep his former last name (he couldn’t exactly call it his _maiden_ name, now could he) to keep Jihoon’s impact on his life minimum and to prevent all the intrusive questions the faculty and students would ask. “It was okay,” he lies.

If Jeonghan caught the lie (which he probably did) he doesn’t call him out on it yet. “Mine was nice,” he says. “I went to a club--”

“Say no more,” Joshua stops him. “I don’t need to know.”

“Damn,” Jeonghan snaps his fingers playfully before coming closer, leaning on one of the student’s desks. “I was hoping to regale you with all the glorious details.”

“I think you need more friends you can tell this to,” Joshua says dryly, still sorting out the papers by class.

“Who can I tell? Wonwoo? He would blank stare me to death before I could even open my mouth,” The biology teacher pouts in an attempt to be cute.

Joshua snorts. “For the record, Wonwoo isn’t that bad. You’re just afraid of people who can’t express their emotions well. Secondly, I was actually thinking about Junhui.”

Jeonghan chokes violently, stopping only to let out a few amused wheezes. “No thanks. I’d rather give my students a detailed sex ed lesson than tell _Junhui_ of all people. He would probably have enough weird sex stories to beat me, and it wouldn’t even be that long ago that they happened!”

He couldn’t help but sigh. “Yes, because _that’s_ what’s wrong with this whole thing.” He gestures wildly, trying to describe the absurdity of the entire situation, when Jeonghan gasps and grabs his hand. His _left_ hand.

Shit. Joshua forgot to take off the cold metal ring on his ring finger.

“What is _this_ ?” Jeonghan nearly crows, inspecting the ring. “Is this a _wedding band_ I see? What did you _really_ do this weekend?”

He sighs. He doesn’t really want to explain it. Not right now, when class is about to start and students are going to come in and see the ring and ask questions he really doesn’t want to answer right now. “Jeonghan...” he begins, only for Jeonghan to cut him off.

“Yeah, not the right place, right? Lunch work for you?” Jeonghan says mercifully, clearly having picked up on Joshua’s reluctance to talk about it at this moment.

“Yeah,” he replies, working to pull the ring off his finger. Once it’s off, he tucks it in his wallet before putting it back into his pocket. “Later.”

The biology teacher pats his shoulder comfortingly before slipping out of the classroom as the bell rings.

Joshua shakes all thoughts of Jihoon out of his head and prepares himself for teaching his classes as the students begin to pour into the classroom, taking their seats while waiting for the second bell to ring.

“Alright, take out your books, and let’s begin,” He says as soon as the second bell stops ringing.

 

The moment the lunch bell rings, Jeonghan’s at Joshua’s door, face composed though his eyes are sparkling with excitement, and two lunch bags in his hands.

“Mr. Yoon, are you here to see Mr. Hong?” One of the female students asks, eyes wide. Around her, other students cast glances between Joshua and Jeonghan, as if trying to figure out something.

“Why, yes I am,” Jeonghan replies easily, giving her a winning smile that makes some of the girls visibly melt (Joshua snorts under his breath).“We eat lunch together sometimes.”

Suddenly, more students are glancing between the two teachers, while Joshua levels as heated a glare as he can at the biology teacher. Jeonghan enjoyed playing around with his students, but sometimes he lets his students take it too far. Finally, one girl bursts out, “Are you two dating?”

Immediately, Jeonghan laughs loudly, wordlessly telling the girl what he thinks. Joshua just sighs, exasperated. He didn’t care what Jeonghan did with his students--within reason, but he trusts his friend--as long as he didn’t drag Joshua into it.

“I don’t know, what do _you_ think?” The biology teacher asks, overtly winking at Joshua, who’s getting less disturbed and more annoyed. Sometimes he wonders if Jeonghan has an ounce of professionalism with his students, but he has no way to check, because he has no excuse as an English teacher to sit in on Jeonghan’s classes.

The girls squeal, as the boys pull up their phones, ready to text the news should it be confirmed. “So, you and Mr. Hong _are_ dating, Mr. Yoon?” One of them asks.

Joshua is mad. It’s one thing for Jeonghan to find out that he got married over the weekend, but it’s another for him to involve Joshua just to play around with the students and hint about his marriage so early.

“No, we aren’t dating,” Joshua intervenes before Jeonghan can put more ideas into his students’ heads. The students flinch at the firm, hard tone to his voice, used to Joshua’s gentle voice. “We’re just good friends, no matter what _Mr. Yoon_ tells you.”

“Well, are you dating anyone, Mr. Hong?” One of the male students asks bravely, while everyone else reels from Joshua’s uncharacteristic anger, save for Jeonghan, who doesn’t seem to have realized what he’s done.

Joshua’s going to have to lie. If he even hedges a bit, the students will pick up on it and blow it out of proportion. At this point, though, he doesn’t feel an ounce of regret. He shakes his head. “No, I have no time for dating.” Technically not a lie, but not exactly the truth, either: Joshua didn’t have time to date, but he sure did have time to get married over the weekend.

Disappointed at their loss of fun, though somewhat frightened by Joshua’s sudden harshness, the students quickly filter out of the classroom, allowing Joshua to lock the doors and turn around to give Jeonghan a furious look. “I am so fucking pissed at you,” he hisses. “I don’t care if you play around with your students in school, but keep me out of it.”

“Possessive husband?” Jeonghan guesses, a smug smirk on his face as he places the lunch bags on Joshua’s desk.

“Shut up,” he all but snarls, finally knocking the smile off the biology teacher’s face. “You have no idea what I’m going through right now. My marriage is the _root_ of all my problems.”

Jeonghan straightens, immediately picking up on the serious tone of his voice. “What problems? How can you have problems so early in your marriage? Isn’t now like your honeymoon period?”

He snorts. “There would be, if I had actually been dating my husband before we got married.”

Jeonghan’s mouth drops open. “What? I-I don’t understand. How do you not know your husband before you got married?”

Joshua shrugs, turning to erase his notes on the board. “That’s what happens when you’re forced into an arranged marriage.”

“WHAT?!?” Jeonghan yells, walking closer to Joshua.

“Shut _up_ , Jeonghan,” Joshua snaps. “I don’t need students to hear this.”

“Shit, sorry,” he apologizes, sitting on a student’s desk again. “You got an arranged marriage. No, you were _forced_ into an arranged marriage.” He frowns. “How? I thought your family was nice.”

“My grandfather’s the one who arranged it,” Joshua explains as he opens his lunch. “My... husband didn’t want to be the heir, so his grandfather wanted him to get an arranged marriage to keep his current job. My grandfather offered me up and proposed a business merge because he’s the CEO of an American company.”

“Wow,” Jeonghan breathes, taken back. “This is something out of a Korean drama. You know, with the chaebols and shit.”

“Yup,” Joshua agrees, taking a big bite. “Yet it’s real, and I hate it.”

“Who’s your husband?” Jeonghan asks.

“You know Woozi, that famous music producer?”

The biology teacher stands straight, eyes wide in complete shock. “You’re kidding me.”

Joshua shook his head wryly. “Nope. I’m married to Woozi.”

“And it’s bad?”

He shrugs, looking back down at his food. “It’s awkward, that’s for sure. He kinda showed me around yesterday when I moved in, and then spent the rest of the day working in his studio.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry I joked about it, Shua,” Jeonghan says softly, reaching out to rub his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have assumed. Especially since I didn’t know about him before or get an invite to said wedding.”

Joshua smiles slightly, feeling a little comforted. “Yeah, I would’ve invited you if I had been dating him beforehand. It was just a small thing at City Hall. No special vows, no guests outside of the witnesses, not even a kiss, just a handshake.”

“Wow, that’s... cold,” the biology teacher replies, still in shock.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” he laments, still staring at his food. “I can’t say the right things and it’s so awkward at home--it’s my _home_ now, Jeonghan--and I don’t know what to do.”

At first, Jeonghan is quiet, with a contemplative look on his face. Joshua just keeps eating, unsure of what else to do.

“Start small,” Jeonghan says finally. “You, know, say ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ and things like that. Test the waters a bit, see if he at least wants to be friends. Give it some time at least. You guys just got married, it’s gonna be awkward for a while. Maybe after some time you guys can come to some sort of consensus on how you want to do this whole marriage thing.”

“Okay,” Joshua accepts easily. It’s all advice he could’ve gotten from anyone, but just hearing it from Jeonghan is reassuring.

“So, you will _not_ believe what one of my students did to his frog before he dissected it,” Jeonghan starts suddenly, catching Joshua off guard, though it’s a welcome surprise.

“What did he do?”

 

When Joshua comes home, he hears someone rapping from the studio. It’s a deeper, rougher voice, so he assumes that it’s not Jihoon. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he sets his briefcase on the floor by the TV before heading back into the condo to make himself some food. Before he starts prepping, though, he remembers Jihoon. Does he cook him food? He has a guest, too: does he make enough for three? What if they’re allergic to what he wants to make? What if they’re not hungry? What if they have plans to order takeout instead?

In the end, he just decides to make enough for all three of them: if they decide to eat it, they can, otherwise it can be Joshua’s lunch for the next few days.

He’s cooking a large pot of fried rice when he hears a door open, and the same deep voice say, “I think that was our most productive session yet, Jihoon-ah.”

“Probably,” Jihoon replies, “though that’s not saying much, because you goof off during _all_ of our sessions.”

“Yah, I’m older than you!” The deep voice scolds, though there’s no hint of scolding in his voice. “What’s that smell? It smells like... food. _Edible_ food.”

“Fuck off.”

Joshua braces himself for the upcoming meeting, keeping his eyes on the food as he waits for them to come into the kitchen.

“Joshua.” He turns at the sound of Jihoon’s voice to face Jihoon and his friend.

His friend is tall, taller than Joshua, and is well built, though his harsher features are softened by the bright, soft look in his eyes. The two of them are aesthetically polar opposites of each other: Seungcheol with his tall, muscular body but soft expression and Jihoon with his tiny, adorable exterior but hard face. He’s so distracted by having to meet this new friend that he almost forgets that he’s cooking.

Jolting back into reality, he moves to turn the heat off and give the fried rice a few stirs to prevent the rice at the bottom from sticking to the pan before setting the spoon down and approaching Jihoon and his friend. Giving him a polite smile, he extends a hand. “Hello, my name is Joshua.”

The friend takes his hand, giving it a firm handshake. “I’m Seungcheol, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” he replies.

“Were you making dinner?” Jihoon asks, his voice not quite emotionless, but it was certainly not full of any fondness or affection.

He shrugs. “Yeah, it’s fried rice. I wasn’t sure if you both would want some.”

“I want some!” Seungcheol says immediately, his face lighting up. He’s kind of like a puppy, Joshua thinks. Another difference from Jihoon--or, rather, what he _knows_ of Jihoon, given that he barely knows him. “Jihoonie, do you want some too?”

Joshua’s not sure what to expect, given that 1) Seungcheol had called Jihoon _Jihoonie_ , which to him was asking for trouble and 2) he wasn’t sure Jihoon wanted to spend time with him in the first place.

Surprisingly, though, Jihoon shrugs, saying, “If that’s okay with you, Joshua,” not seeming bothered in the slightest by the diminutive given to him by Seungcheol.

Trying his best to appear unphased, Joshua nods and turns the heat back on to continue cooking. “I’m almost done, if you want to set the table, Jihoon.”

The look Jihoon gives him freaks him out: it’s one of apprehension and warning, and Joshua doesn’t know what to make of it. Did he already cross a line? Was he supposed to keep using honorifics with him? Did he ruin everything already?

Finally, his short husband huffs, moving past him to get the bowls, while Joshua tries to hide a sigh of relief into the fried rice he’s finishing up. Jihoon sets the bowls by the stove before calling, “Seungcheol, what do you want to drink?”

“Water’s fine,” is the response, followed by, “Can we sit outside? It’s such a nice day out!” Jihoon grumbles incoherently as he goes to get glasses.

Joshua’s carrying the bowls over to the table out on the porch, where everything’s set up, when he realizes that Jihoon never asked him if he wanted anything to drink, and there’s three glasses of water at the table.

He takes a deep breath, calming himself and pushing the stinging in his chest down. He’s blowing everything out of proportion, expecting more than he should. So what if Jihoon didn’t ask? He still got him a drink, didn’t he? He should appreciate that at the very least.

When he sits down at the table, he meets Seungcheol’s eyes, which have been staring at him with a gentle scrutiny that doesn’t exactly set him on edge, though it does make him somewhat self conscious.

He bends his head down to say grace, only to look back up to see both of them staring at him in revelation. He really feels self conscious now, and more importantly, uncomfortable. He wants to get out of this right now, but he also doesn’t want to embarrass Jihoon or give Seungcheol the wrong impression.

Before he can fully come up with an excuse, Seungcheol interrupts, saying, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I just... never realized you were religious. Jihoonie never said anything.”

Simultaneously still baffled by how the tall man can call Jihoon by such a cute nickname and not come out of it decapitated and now terrified that said tall man can also read him like a book, Joshua can only let out a stunned, “uh...” that is _sure_ to embarrass Jihoon. Thankfully, he catches himself quickly, adding, “yeah, I go to church. I’m not, like, _super_ religious though. I’m not gonna ask you to come with me or convert, Jihoon-sshi,” he glances at his husband as he says this. Jihoon just nods curtly, nothing more than acknowledgement in the action. Joshua pretends his heart doesn’t sink, just a little. Stuffing his mouth full of food works as a good distraction.

Seemingly ignoring the stiff tension between the two husbands, Seungcheol swallows a bite of rice and asks cheerfully, “so, Jihoon never told me what you did. You have a job, right? Or do you just like waking up early in the morning, unlike him.” He gestures to Joshua’s husband, not even flinching when the smaller man smacks him _hard_ on the shoulder, which says something about either Seungcheol’s endurance or Jihoon’s strength.

Caught off guard by the question (and also embarrassed about that morning,) Joshua lets out a startled laugh, covering his mouth quickly afterward. For a moment, he imagines seeing something close to affection (close being a relative term) flash in Jihoon’s eyes, but he ignores it for answering Seungcheol. “Yeah, I’m a highschool teacher.”

“Really?” He asks, eyes wide. “Like, you sit in a stuffy classroom and teach hormonal, rude teenagers for seven hours for a living?”

Joshua can’t help but laugh a little more, put at ease by the man. “It’s really not that bad,” he says. “I mean, the classroom isn’t stuffy at all.”

Seungcheol cackles at the teacher’s joke, and Joshua even sees the corners of Jihoon’s lips quirk up. He feels a ridiculous rush of achievement at having made some progress--if only slight--in his relationship with Jihoon. “What do you teach?” Seungcheol asks.

“English literature. I mainly teach upperclassmen, so they’re a _little_ more mature, especially my AP classes, but it’s still sort of 50/50 whether or not they actually pay attention,” he jokes lightly, and is rewarded by seeing Seungcheol laugh again and Jihoon’s lips curl upward a little more.

“Literature, huh,” Seungcheol hums contemplatively. “Never liked literature much.”

“It’s hard when it’s for school,” Joshua agrees. “Everyone has their own taste in books like they have their own taste in music. It’s hard enough to find a genre everyone will like, and even harder when it’s written in a completely different time period and therefore an entirely different culture that seems bizarre in nature. If I could, I would just have every student pick a book they might like from a list, and then come in and have long discussions about it, but it’s impractical and time-consuming.”

He’s ranting a bit, and he’s definitely gotten off track of Jeonghan’s original plan, but when he sees the pure admiration in Seungcheol’s eyes, and the look of mild attentiveness in Jihoon’s, he feels victorious.

Wanting to turn the attention away from himself, he asks, “Seungcheol, you’re a rapper, right? That was you when I came home?”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol grins. “Have you heard of S.Coups?”

Joshua has to think about it. It’s been awhile since he’s listened to any recent mainstream music, but he’s definitely heard that name before. He’s probably at least heard a few covers on YouTube before. “I think so,” he says finally, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “I think some of my students like your music, I think that’s where I hear your name the most.”

“Yeah, that’s me. Glad to know the kids are enjoying my music,” Seungcheol says simply.

“Sorry, who composed the entirety of the song and wrote the lyrics?” Jihoon speaks up for the first time. “Watch what you’re calling _your_ music.” His words are accusatory, but his tone is teasing.

“Well, who pays attention to the _producers_ of a song?” Seungcheol shoots back. “Everyone talks about the artist, not the composer.”

“Then who are the Chainsmokers? Who’s Zedd?” Jihoon retorts. “DJs, yes, but technically still producers.”

Joshua can tell they’re getting into an well-worn argument, and he feels slightly left out, but also amused by how Seungcheol brings Jihoon out of his shell or, at least, the shell he’s in whenever he’s around Joshua. Was that his fault? Was he not trying hard enough? Maybe he was expecting more. He has to remind himself that he’s only just met the guy two days ago, and that he should be a little more patient.

Apparently, a lot happened while Joshua was having an inner monologue, and when he comes to, he sees Jihoon on top of Seungcheol, attempting to strangle him. For a brief moment, he’s alarmed, thinking of ways to separate the two, but then he registers that Seungcheol is _laughing_ , and he’s trying to tickle Jihoon off of him, so he lets them be. Their bowls are empty, and they look like they’re no longer hungry, so he picks up their bowls and glasses and carries them to the sink to wash.

He comes back to see that Jihoon and Seungcheol have stopped their play fighting, and are looking straight at him. Seungcheol’s eyes are apologetic, and Jihoon’s are as neutral as always. Joshua blinks. Did he do something wrong?

“Oh, uh, were you two still hungry?” Joshua asks, starting to turn back. “I can get you more--”

He stops when Seungcheol responds, “No, we’re not. We just freaked out because you disappeared.”

“Ah, sorry,” Joshua says, not knowing what else to say. “I just wanted to clean up a bit, and you two looked like you were having too much fun.”

“Thank you, Joshua.” Jihoon’s words startle Joshua, but he can see the sincerity in his eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s being thanked for, not when doing something as simple as the dishes or letting him enjoy his friends is something small, something he’d do for all his other friends.

“Uh, you’re welcome, Jihoon-sshi,” he stammers finally. He thinks now is a good time to bow out, not because he’s uncomfortable, but because one of his classes had to turn in an essay today, and he needs to grade them. “I have some essays to grade, so I’ll be inside. Let me know if you need me.”

Both of them nod before Jihoon starts talking about the song he and Seungcheol must be working on. Taking it as his cue to leave, Joshua returns inside to start the stifling task of grading essays.

 

Seungcheol ends up staying the night, reminding Joshua of Jihoon’s reasoning for sharing a bed, and Joshua is freaking out because Jihoon and he are going to bed at the same time and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s sitting on the bed, waiting for Jihoon to finish up in the bathroom (Was he supposed to finish up? Should he have gone to bed? Would that have been too rude?) while trying to find something to do that wouldn’t make it obvious that he was waiting for Jihoon. He ends up just laying in bed, scrolling through his phone.

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Jihoon’s voice startles him, making him turn to see Jihoon turn off the main lights, leaving the lamps on the night tables on.

Joshua fumbles with his words for a few moments before he answers, “I know, but it felt rude to just go to sleep.”

There’s a snort from Jihoon as he clambers into bed. “You really are a gentleman,” he comments. “A white knight.”

Somehow, that grates on Joshua’s nerves, despite the fact that he’s heard the same words from countless other people, simply because it’s Jihoon who says it. Maybe it’s because Jihoon’s going to be more involved in his life than others, or maybe he’s reached his limit of tolerance, but Joshua never wants to hear those words again, especially from Jihoon. “ _Don’t_.”

He says it firmly and resolutely, despite the fact that he refuses to look over at Jihoon, who immediately turns to look at him, training his eyes on the ceiling. “I hate being called that.”

“A gentleman?” Jihoon probes, though it’s respectful and polite.

“A white knight, or a prince, or a fantasy, whatever,” Joshua gestures vaguely. “I hate people giving me this two-dimensional image that I won’t ever live up to because it’s an ideal and not who I am. People just see me as their ‘dream prince’ and don’t see me as the awkward guy who just knows how to be polite. So please, Jihoon-sshi, while we’re married, please don’t refer to me as someone I’m not.” He turns his head to face Jihoon.

When he makes eye contact with Jihoon, his world turns on its axis. Jihoon’s simply looking at him, without the influence of others, taking in his new husband. There’s a sense of vulnerability and wariness in his eyes, like Joshua’s gone past one of Jihoon’s many walls. He can feel himself getting closer to him, even though it’s only been two days and Joshua hasn’t made much progress.

“Okay,” Jihoon says simply. “I can understand that.” There’s a brief pause as Jihoon looks at something over his head before he looks back at Joshua and adds, “If I had to do public stuff as Woozi, I would lose it.”

Joshua hums, not having anything to say to that. He still doesn’t know Jihoon well, so he can’t make any judgements.

“You can...” Jihoon begins tentatively, “you can drop the honorifics too, if you want. It feels weird to hear you use them when I don’t.”

“Okay,” Joshua agrees. After a pause, he adds, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Joshua just lays there and listens to the sound of their quiet breaths in the empty night.

This might not be so bad.


	2. In you and I, there's a new land

Two months pass by peacefully: Joshua comes and goes from the school while Jihoon works in his studio, routinely inviting Seungcheol over for recording sessions. The two of them fall into a routine they might have had before they married, but there are noticeable changes that Joshua wouldn’t have noticed if Seungcheol hadn’t pointed them out.

There are minor differences: they go to bed at the same time, they greet and say bye to each other when one comes in or leaves the condo, they split the chores and responsibilities, and so forth. It’s really nothing special; it’s something that most roommates would do to ensure that they don’t kill each other. If that was the extent of their interaction, Joshua would go crazy overthinking his relationship with Jihoon, and their marriage would be hell to live through. But thankfully, Jihoon doesn’t want that either.

They eat dinner together, every night. Apparently Jihoon’s terrible at both cooking and eating regular meals, so Joshua makes use of whatever cooking skills he developed after college and makes them a decent dinner every night. Sometimes Jihoon’s too busy in the studio to come out before dinner, but often Jihoon makes time to help him prep or set the table or do something outside of the studio so that Joshua doesn’t feel alone. It’s a nice and subtle gesture, one that Joshua’s learning is Jihoon’s way of reminding him that he’s not alone in this relationship. Dinner with Jihoon has become comfortable and relaxed; some nights they make small talk about work, other nights they discuss deeper things like dreams for life and their childhood.

Joshua tells Jihoon about all his failed dates and their shallow perceptions of him, about the many women who had hit on him based solely on said shallow perceptions, and about everything that made him more than just a prince. He tells him his reasonings for agreeing to the arranged marriage, and how happy his grandparents are, now that they can finally relax and enjoy their retirement and their family.

He learns that Jihoon had to fight his family to major in music, and he had almost completely lost, until his uncle proposed he do a music minor and a business major, on the grounds that music would be his side project, not his career. He learns that Jihoon’s known for mainly working with two people, Seungcheol being one of them, but that he would compose for other singers and rappers, though not as often. He learns that Jihoon has a wonderful singing voice, but he refuses to use his voice for any of his songs because he wants to focus on producing and he doesn’t want to be a singer.

More importantly, he learns that Jihoon had a bad childhood. His family was like any other chaebol family, almost cartoonishly like the ones Joshua’s seen from Korean dramas. He was groomed to be the perfect heir, despite his obvious distaste for business. He had to grapple for power and authority with his brothers and cousins, and he had watched his grandfather disown family members for rebellion or scandals. Jihoon had tried to get himself disowned: switching his major to music with a business minor (only because the minor would help his music career), letting himself get caught out with his boyfriend at the time, refusing to comply with his family’s requests, and so forth. His grandfather had ignored all of these incidents, seeing the potential Jihoon had and trying to find ways to exploit it, long after Jihoon made his name as a producer. The only reason he had to marry Joshua in the first place was because his grandfather had made serious threats to destroy the carefully crafted career Jihoon had made not only for himself, but for his friends. The promise of leaving the family was the only benefit Jihoon had managed to wrangle out of this deal, thanks to Joshua’s grandfather’s intervention.

Hearing what Jihoon has gone through makes Joshua’s heart  _ ache _ . He suddenly feels really grateful for his almost too-suburban family, who raised him to be the gentlemen people assumes he embodies in its entirety, who love him unconditionally, gay or otherwise, who insist he comes over for dinner at least once a month. Even though he’s still upset at his grandfather for pushing him into this arranged marriage, he’s happy he can offer Jihoon some sanctuary from an overbearing, clinical family. He doesn’t care about Jihoon’s family--doesn’t even know who they are, really--but he cares about Jihoon, and that’s all that matters.

One day, when Joshua gets home from school, he hears the studio door open, and Jihoon suddenly appears in the hallway. Jihoon’s never greeted him when he first came back home, so he’s a little startled. The vaguely concerned look on his face (which means he’s  _ really  _ concerned) is what’s more worrying. “Jihoon...?”

“Seungcheol wants to do a inter-friend group meeting or something,” he says rather tersely, though Joshua knows him well enough by now to know that he’s not actually as upset as he comes off. “Have your friends meet my friends.”

“That sounds... good, I guess,” Joshua stammers, trying to figure out who he would invite. He wasn’t the most social, preferring to have a few close friends than several who weren’t as close. Jeonghan, definitely, but beyond that, he wasn’t sure. He’d probably invite Wonwoo, considering he was his closest work friend. Junhui? Not a chance. He can barely handle him in school, he doesn’t want to see him outside of school. “How many people?”

“Probably just Seungcheol and Soonyoung, the other guy I work with,” Jihoon replies. “I don’t have that many friends, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want all of them in my house.”

“True,” Joshua laughs. “I’ll probably invite Jeonghan and Wonwoo. I work with them too--well, I work with Wonwoo, since he teaches underclassman English, but Jeonghan and I started working together at the same time, and we became close friends.”

“That sounds good,” Jihoon comments, already starting to shuffle back to the studio. He stops at the doorway to turn back and say, “I’m assuming weekends work best for you?”

“Definitely,” Joshua replies. “Is that fine with your friends?”

“I’ll make sure it’s fine.” Not quite the response most people would give, but Jihoon’s never not passive aggressive. “I’m feeling like ordering pizza today, is that okay with you?”

“I’m always down for pizza,” Joshua agrees eagerly. “Pepperoni okay?”

“Pepperoni’s always okay,” Jihoon’s responding grin is warm and welcoming, a drastic change from the beginning of their marriage. They’ve become friends, driven together by unnatural circumstances, but they’ve still managed to overcome these outside factors and find a common ground, which is surprisingly large. It makes Joshua happy and relieved, like he can finally breathe.

“Okay, I’ll let you know when it comes,” he informs the younger, who nods and disappears into the studio.

As soon as the studio door closes, Joshua pulls out his phone and calls Jeonghan, wanting to get this resolved as soon as possible.

“Shua!” Jeonghan’s cheery voice greets him as soon as he picks up. “What can I do for you, dear friend of mine?”

He can’t help but smile at his friend’s antics. “Hello, Jeonghan,” he chuckles. “I was wondering if you were free two Saturdays from now, around 6 PM.”

“Aw, Shua, are you asking me on a date? How sweet!” Jeonghan coos.

Joshua snorts as he sits on the couch with his laptop, opening up the website of the pizza place they like. “Pretty sure my husband would dislike that on principle,” he informs him. “And no, it’s not a date. Jihoon wants to do a ‘meet-the-friends’ gathering and pretty much told me to organize it because his friends apparently have a flexible enough schedule.”

“Ah, the life of entertainers,” Jeonghan sighs dramatically. “Luckily, though, I’m free next weekend. I will humbly accept your invitation to accompany you as your dearest and only friend to this dinner.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself, you’re not the only one going,” Joshua retorts as he orders the pizza. “I’m gonna invite Wonwoo too.”

He hears a gasp through the receiver, and Jeonghan’s affronted voice saying, “How could you? I thought I was your only friend?”

“Be grateful I’m inviting Wonwoo instead of Junhui,” Joshua threatens.

“You wouldn’t invite Junhui. You can barely handle him in school as it is,” Jeonghan replies lazily, easily calling his bluff. “But  _ fine _ , I guess I can coexist in the same space as the emotionless yet not robotic human.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re hilarious,” he says flatly. “Alright, I gotta go do some grading.”

“Aw, leaving so soon?”

“Yeah, can’t handle you in large doses either,” Joshua quips. “Alright, bye!”

“Wait, Shu--” He doesn’t let him finish, hanging up and going to get his briefcase to start working.

The pizza delivery guy knocks on the door right as Joshua finishes grading, so he gets the door, paying the delivery guy and setting the pizza box down on the table before heading towards the studio, knocking on the door just hard enough to be heard. “Jihoon-ah? Pizza’s here.”

There’s a soft scramble, and then the door flies open, and Joshua finds himself almost two inches from Jihoon, who apparently hadn’t expected Joshua to stay by the door.

They meet each other’s eyes, and it’s like the door opened to a campfire: the rush of warmth that engulfs Joshua’s body is overwhelming and all-encompassing, and it’s simultaneously too much and not enough as it is. 

“Uh...” Joshua stammers, trying to find something to say to fill the awkward silence, “you hungry?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon replies, not quite meeting Joshua’s eyes. 

He suddenly realizes that he’s blocking Jihoon in the doorway, so he steps back and lets Jihoon walk past him towards the kitchen. He doesn’t know what to make of that awkward moment, so he decides to pretend it never happened. He grabs two sodas and seats himself at the dinner table as Jihoon gets two paper plates of pizza and sets them down.

“So, I’ve invited one of my friends, Jeonghan over at 6 PM two Saturdays from now. I’ll invite the other one on Monday,” Joshua starts. “Does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon shrugs, taking a huge bite of pizza. “I’ll tell Seungcheol and Soonyoung.”

“We should figure out some of the logistics of this get together,” he says. “Like, what food should we make? What should we do?”

“I’m all for takeout,” Jihoon suggests. “Soonyoung and Seungcheol won’t mind. Will yours?”

Joshua shrugs. “Jeonghan might expect something homemade, but that might be his expectation of domesticity or something along those lines.”

The younger chuckles. “I mean, we  _ are  _ married. We’re supposed to have some semblance of order in our lives.”

“Whoever said that is a liar,” Joshua retorts. “Don’t worry, I’ll make some hotteok for dessert, Jeonghan can deal.”

Jihoon sits up straight. “You know how to make hotteok?” He demands, a strange look in his eyes.

“Uh... yes?”

He sighs wistfully. “It’s been so long since I’ve had homemade Korean cuisine. LA has a lot of good Korean places, but I, uh, haven’t had time to visit them. I’ve tried to make them myself, but...” he shoots Joshua a wry smile, “cooking’s never been my thing.”

Joshua laughs softly, hiding his smile behind a hand. “Well, if you want, I can cook more Korean food at home. My parents taught me a lot of recipes growing up.”

“Don’t feel obligated to, I’ve lived here long enough to get used to it,” Jihoon waves a hand dismissively. “I just... forgot how much I missed Korean food.”

“I mean, Jeonghan and Wonwoo are Korean, and so are Seungcheol and presumably Soonyoung, given his name,” Joshua points out. “Maybe we can order Korean takeout and have a Korean food party.”

Jihoon doesn’t respond for a few moments. When Joshua looks over, he sees a gentle smile on the younger’s face directed at him, and it makes the campfire come back. “That sounds nice. We should do that.”

It takes all of Joshua’s effort not to stammer when he replies, “Okay then.”

He has no idea what’s going on, and he’s not quite sure he wants to find out.

 

That Monday, after the English department meeting ends, Joshua pulls Wonwoo aside. “Wonwoo, can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” he agrees readily, stepping to his side and letting the other teachers file past them out of the room. “Is it about the curriculum?”

“No, it’s a little more personal than that,” Joshua said. “Are you free two Saturdays from now, in the evening?”

Wonwoo thinks for a few moments before he nods. “Yeah, I should be free. My students submit their essays this week, so next week I won’t be locking myself in my apartment to get all these essays graded that weekend.”

Joshua chuckles. “I understand the feeling. Well, I’m having a... get together at 6 that day with Jeonghan and... some of my husband’s friends that day, if you’d like to come.” He can’t hold back the blush on his cheeks. It’s the first time he’s admitted to someone other than Jeonghan that he’s married--he still hides his wedding ring, because he does  _ not  _ want his overly perceptive students to notice--and he still feels the lingering after effects of the awkwardness he felt when he first got married.

“Husband?” Wonwoo asks, looking surprised, glancing down at Joshua’s bare hands. “When did you get married?”

“About two months ago. It was a private thing, I don’t wear my ring to work because I don’t want the students to know,” Joshua explains. 

“Ah,” he nods in understanding. “Well, I would definitely like to go to the party. Just send me the address.”

“Great, I’ll see you there,” Joshua smiled. 

“Ooh, where are you two going? Can I come?” A smooth voice called. The two turned to see Junhui, the dance teacher, at the doorway.

“The Fine Arts meeting isn’t in this room, Junhui,” Joshua says politely.

“No, of course not,” Junhui laughs, as if the idea of it was ridiculous. “No, I was just heading for the teacher’s lounge when I overheard you two talking. I didn’t know you two were so... close,” he teases.

“We share a lot in common, Junhui,” Joshua explains patiently, “and we talk a lot about our classes and curriculum. It’s natural to become friends.”

“Yes, and it’s natural for me to tease my students, yet everyone else looks down on me for it,” Junhui rolls his eyes.

Wonwoo shakes his head and replies, “Just be careful, Junhui. Some students can’t handle your teasing, and some will take it too far. That’s why everyone looks down on you. You’re playing with fire in your own workplace.”

“How poetic,” Junhui says appreciatively. “I’m flattered you care so much, Wonwoo, but don’t worry, I know the limits. That’s why I go clubbing every weekend.” With a sway of his hips, he saunters away.

Wonwoo sighs. “Sometimes, I wonder  _ how  _ a student hasn’t reported him yet.”

Joshua doesn’t answer at first, too preoccupied with staring at the space where Junhui had been. “I’m so glad Jeonghan isn’t quite that extreme.”

“The biology teacher?” Wonwoo asks. “I had a few students asking me if you were dating him. You must have been very harsh with them if they went to  _ me  _ for details.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “It was nothing. Jeonghan came to my classroom for lunch, my students asked why, Jeonghan played around with them, they thought I was dating, and I got annoyed.”

“It must be annoying to have students meddling in your personal life,” Wonwoo says understandingly. “How did your husband react?”

Joshua doesn’t know how to answer. Finally he admits, “I haven’t told him yet, but I’m sure he would understand after meeting Jeonghan.”

“If you say so,” Wonwoo says simply.

  
  


Joshua texts Jihoon, letting him know that both of his friends are coming before his next class starts.

  
  


When the lunch bell rings, one of Joshua’s classmates comes to see him, Minghao Xu, a transfer student from China. His English is still rough around the edges, so he often asks Joshua for help with phrasing his essays.

“Mr. Hong?”

“Hello Minghao, come in and get situated, and I’ll be with you in a moment,” Joshua greets as he cleans the board. “Did you eat lunch?”

“Yes, Mr. Hong,” Minghao chirps, sounding more like a child than a teenager. Joshua knows it’s the slight unfamiliarity the student has with the language, but it doesn’t stop him from finding it endearing.

Finally, Joshua sets the eraser down and takes the seat next to Minghao. “Okay, show me what you have so far.”

  
  


“So, what you’re trying to say is that nature changes with the character. The more deceitful he becomes, the worse the weather becomes,” Joshua asks.

Minghao nods gratefully. “Yes, how do I write it?” 

Joshua reads over the words again, carefully dissecting and reassembling sentences to try and find a clearer way for Minghao to get his point across. “Well, you sort of ramble, so maybe--”

“Joshua?” Joshua starts, turning towards the voice to find Jihoon at the door, holding two takeout bags.

“Jihoon?” He calls, not completely sure if Jihoon’s really there or not. “What are you doing here?”

“I figured since you make me lunch all the time, I should return the favor,” Jihoon replies, stepping hesitantly inside the classroom. “Is now a bad time?”

Yes, it kind of is, but Joshua isn’t sure if Jihoon would come again another day or if he would feel too embarrassed to do it again, so he says, “Not at all, Jihoon. Just sit down, and once I’m done with Minghao I’ll come over.”

“Okay.” If the blush is anything to go by (which it is) Jihoon is a little embarrassed, but still he makes his way over to Joshua’s desk and sets the takeout bags on the desk.

Joshua works with Minghao for a few more minutes before letting him go back to his friends. He stands up and walks over to Jihoon, who’s listening intently to something on his phone, looking uncomfortable in Joshua’s classroom. “Hey,” he says softly, nudging Jihoon, who starts, pulling his earphones out. “You ready?”

“I’m always ready to eat,” Jihoon retorts easily, making the two of them laugh. Joshua pulls a chair to the desk, and watches as Jihoon reveals carton after carton of Chinese food.

“This looks amazing, Jihoon-ah,” Joshua says once Jihoon empties the bag. “You really didn’t have to do all this.”

His husband shrugs. “It’s not fair for you to cook all our meals,” he states.

“I don’t mind,” Joshua tells him.

“I do,” Jihoon says. Joshua knows he won’t back down, so he just concedes and starts eating. After a few moments, he asks, “So did you ask your friend if he’s coming?”

“Yeah, Wonwoo’s coming,” Joshua nods. “I also found a really good Korean place and I have a basic list of food to buy, but I thought I’d run it by you, in case any of them are allergic or won’t eat anything on the list.” He rifles through his phone until he finds the list, and he hands his phone over to his husband.

Jihoon continues to eat as he looks through the list. Joshua can hear students outside, whispering about one thing or another, but he ignores it in favor of the peace Jihoon brings with him. 

“There’s no seafood on here,” he says finally.

“Wonwoo hates seafood,” Joshua shrugs. “I can add some dishes with seafood though if you want.”

“Nah, it’s all good. Just curious,” Jihoon replies, handing the phone back. “List looks good.”

“Thanks, I tried my best,” he jokes. There’s a pause, and then he asks, “Why did you come here?”

Jihoon shot him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“I know you always want to repay people, but you already do,” he elaborates. “You keep me company while I make dinner. You wash the dishes. If you wanted to return the favor, you already have. I hate doing the dishes.”

“I don’t know,” Jihoon looks down at his food. “I just... feel like there’s more I could be doing.” 

Joshua feels his heart soften. “You don’t have to worry about it, Jihoon. I know our marriage is unconventional, but we’re making it work,” he says softly, reaching out to pat his shoulder comfortingly. “If I’m feeling upset about anything, I’ll let you know, okay?”

Jihoon nods, giving Joshua another small smile that makes Joshua’s chest swell. The bell rings, startling the two. “Do you have a class now?” Jihoon asks.

He shakes his head. “No, I have a free period after lunch today. We can still talk, if you want.”

“I’d like that,” Jihoon replies. “Work has been so stressful lately.”

“A difficult song?” 

“No,” he shakes his head. “You know how exclusive I am in the music world?”

Joshua nods. “You don’t work with a lot of people,” he says. “You do some remixes, but you really only consistently make original music for Seungcheol or Soonyoung.”

“Well, there’s this diva singer who thinks she can get me to write her a song, and her company’s been hounding me for the past week,” Jihoon sighs. “I finally reported it to my company this morning, and they told me to take a break while they handle it.”

“Will you?” Jihoon’s a workaholic: if he can work, he will, and he will go to extreme lengths to get his work done. He’s had to check up on Jihoon and persuade him to eat or sleep or take a five minute break a few times before. It’s another reason why Joshua’s so confused by Jihoon’s surprise visit.

One corner of Jihoon’s lips quirk up, and Joshua’s entranced by it for a moment before catching himself and turning his attention away. “I’ll try, this time. I have two days off, maybe I’ll catch up on sleep.”

“Of course you would,” Joshua jokes. “That’s all you do, sleep and work.”

“You know me,” Jihoon grins. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be living off takeout and letting my house turn into a pigsty.”

“I knew your house was too clean,” he teases. “You hired a cleaner before I moved in, didn’t you?”

The younger shrugs. “Guilty as charged,” he replies unashamedly, shooting Joshua a wide grin. 

Joshua feels light, like he’s not quite connected to Earth anymore. It’s a brief and fleeting moment before he comes back to reality, but he knows it’s tied to the smiling man in front of him.

  
  


The day of the inter-friend party--or “the absolute idiot Seungcheol thinks we need this stupid fucking party to bring together both sides of a married couple because he’s actually the most hopeless romantic on the face of this planet” (Jihoon’s words, not his)--comes before Joshua can even blink. He’s been so busy, with essays due and lesson plans to create and writing college recommendation letters and preparing his kids for college-level classes that the party almost snuck up on him. Thankfully he had ordered everything in advanced, and he had all the ingredients to make the hotteok, so he didn’t have much to worry about other than his friends meeting Jihoon’s.

Jihoon is only taking the afternoon off, so while Jihoon makes up for his two days off the week before, Joshua is left in the kitchen to freak out. Does he have enough plates? Is there enough seats? Should they play music? What music should they play? Is the house clean enough? Should he pick out some movies? What should they watch? Korean dramas? He hasn’t watched one of those in a while. Do they even like those kinds of dramas?

He desperately wants everything to go well. He gets along well with Jihoon, but their friends might not, and neither of them are equipped to deal with social problems, and if they don’t get along this evening would be a disaster.

“Stop stressing,” Jihoon says suddenly, placing his hands on Joshua’s shoulders.

Joshua nearly falls off the couch when he jumps, not expecting his husband to be behind him. “Yah, Lee Jihoon! Make more noise next time!”

Jihoon laughs loudly, pulling his hands away to seal clap. “Well, next time don’t get lost in your head and you’ll hear me. I was asking if I could help you with anything,” he says when he calms down

“Ah, no, I think everything’s settled,” Joshua sighs. “I’m just worried things won’t work out.”

His husband nods understandingly, moving around the sofa to sit next to him. “Don’t worry,” he says softly. “Seungcheol and Soonyoung are really sociable, so we don’t have to worry about anything. They could get along with a brick wall if they really wanted to.”

Joshua laughs lightly, sliding down the sofa into a more comfortable position. On the way down, his head makes contact with Jihoon’s shoulder, and immediately he jolts upright. “Shoot, sorry,” he apologizes. Inside, he’s a little unapologetic: that light, almost high feeling had come back when his head laid on Jihoon’s shoulder, and he’s starting to get addicted.

Jihoon shakes his head, his cheeks red. “No, it’s okay. You were stressed, right? You can... you can rest a bit if you want.”

Almost too eagerly, Joshua slides back down again, resting his head on the younger’s shoulder. The light high feeling comes back alongside a strange sense of comfort. It’s more than just enjoying the physical closeness of a friend; the fact that it’s Jihoon makes it different somehow. It’s incredibly confusing, but Joshua pushes it down in favor of enjoying the feel of Jihoon so close to him while he can.

Joshua must have tired himself out because he wakes up on the couch, disoriented and groggy. There’s a wool blanket draped over his body, and he can hear someone humming in the background. There’s a tantalizing smell in the air that reminds him of home, and he can hear his stomach grumble lightly in response. 

The humming stops when Joshua finally decides to sit up, rubbing blearily at his eyes. “You’re awake,” Jihoon says casually. “I thought I would have to wake you.”

Finding his phone, Joshua checks the time. 5:13. “I’m gonna shower really quickly, then I’ll help you out.”

“Okay,” his husband mocks, “enjoy your ‘quick’ shower.” He can almost hear the air quotes Jihoon’s surely making.

“You suck!” Joshua replies teasingly, rushing into the bedroom as Jihoon cackles.

  
  


Wonwoo’s the first one to arrive, promptly at 6:00. He gives Joshua an adorably awkward smile when he answers the door. “Sorry I’m on time.”

Joshua laughs. “That has to be one of the strangest sentences I’ve ever heard,” he says plainly, opening the door wider. “Come in, come in.”

“You have a nice place,” Wonwoo comments as Joshua leads him to the back of the condo.

“Thank you,” Jihoon smiles politely when the two of them reach the living room. “The neighborhood’s the best part. Nice and quiet.” He stands and walks over to Wonwoo.

“Wonwoo, this is my husband, Jihoon. Jihoon, this is Wonwoo, the English teacher I work with.”

“Nice to meet you, Wonwoo-sshi,” Jihoon bows, which Wonwoo reciprocates.

“I think you two are the same age,” Joshua says suddenly, remembering how important age is in Korea. “Both 96-liners, right?” They both nod. “Then you guys are same-age friends!”

Jihoon smirks. “You’re too happy about this,  _ hyung. _ Also, it’s really strange to hear you say that in English.”

Just to get back at him, Joshua replies in Korean, “Well, this  _ is  _ a Korean party, so why don’t we all just speak in Korean from now on?”

“Okay, hyung,” Wonwoo shrugs, sitting down on the couch. “I didn’t realize this was a Korean party.”

“Yeah, well, everyone’s Korean,” Joshua says. The doorbell rings again, so he makes his way to the door.

It’s Seungcheol with who must presumably be Soonyoung. He has vibrant red-orange hair and an easy grin on his face that makes his eyes almost disappear. He’s endearing, and it makes Joshua wonder why Jihoon surrounds himself with so many cheery people when he himself is so grumpy (then again, it also kind of makes sense).“You must be Joshua! I’m Soonyoung!” He greets exuberantly, in slightly accented English.

“I am, nice to meet you,” Joshua smiles. “Please, come in.” 

The two of them walk into the condo, take a deep breath, and grin. “Is that Korean food I smell?” Seungcheol asks eagerly.

“Yeah, we’re having a Korean party,” he says, switching back into Korean. “Did Jihoon not tell you?”

“No,” Soonyoung shakes his head, “but he usually does that.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes when he sees Seungcheol and Soonyoung. “Talking about me again?” He drawls.

“Always,” Seungcheol replies. “And this is...” he trails off, looking at Wonwoo.

“Jeon Wonwoo,” the teacher says. “Born in 1996.”

Joshua doesn’t hear the rest of their introductions when there’s a knock on the door. He turns back to open the door to reveal Jeonghan, looking more relaxed than he is at school. “Of course you’d be the one to ignore the doorbell,” he comments.

“Well, I have two working hands, why would I need a doorbell?” Jeonghan teases as he walks in. “Wow, is this your place, Joshua?”

“No, I’ve been trespassing this entire time,” he replies, deadpan, making his friend laugh. “Well, you’re the last one here, so we can eat now. Oh, right, I forgot to tell you that it’s a Korean party, so we’re only speaking in Korean.”

“Oh, everyone speaks Korean?” Jeonghan asks, delighted. “How the fuck did that happen?”

Joshua shrugs. “Couldn’t tell you,” he says. “Everyone, this is Jeonghan. Jeonghan, this is Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Jihoon. You know Wonwoo.” 

“Which one’s your husband, again?” Jeonghan asks bluntly. “No one knows what Woozi looks like.”

Jihoon raises his hand lazily. “I’m Woozi. Those two are the artists I record with, S.Coups and Hoshi.”

“Ah,” Jeonghan says in understanding. “You two are the ones my students don’t shut up about. They love your guys’ music.”

“Thank you,” the three of them chorus in unison before giving each other accusing looks, as if trying to blame each other for what just happened.

Joshua hides his smile behind his hand. Wonwoo snorts quietly. Jeonghan, though, just throws his head back and laughs loudly. Seungcheol and Soonyoung join in, while Wonwoo, Jihoon and Joshua share amused looks.

Finally, when everyone calms down, Joshua gestures to the food Jihoon set up earlier. “Well, shall we eat?”

  
  


Joshua looks around the table in surprise and happiness, seeing all the happy faces and hearing lighthearted, friendly conversations. This party had turned out better than either he had thought.

Jihoon had been right in saying that Seungcheol and Soonyoung were good socializers. They easily bring Wonwoo out of his shell, teasing him whenever he makes a bad pun or lame joke. Soon, they’re joking like old friends, freely making fun of each other at any given moment. It’s a far cry from the icy persona Wonwoo has in school that Joshua can’t help but smile. Jihoon looks remarkably relaxed, watching everyone around him have warm conversations with a smile from his seat. Joshua can understand the feeling: he feels incredibly happy watching his friends get along with his husband’s friends.

The surprising thing, though, is Jeonghan. More specifically, Jeonghan and Seungcheol. They had hit it off almost immediately, and it kept progressing to the point where Jeonghan and Seungcheol were almost exclusively talking to each other and tuning everyone else out. It’s earned the pair a few strange looks from both Wonwoo and Soonyoung, while Joshua and Jihoon keep exchanging bemused looks. 

When everyone leaves, it’s the first thing that comes to mind when he turns to Jihoon. “What is up with Jeonghan and Seungcheol?” He asks.

The younger shrugs. “Couldn’t tell you. I’ve never seen Seungcheol like that.”

He shakes his head. “Me neither. I would say it’s like love at first sight, but that doesn’t exist.”

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you were a cynic, Joshua,” he comments.

“Less cynical, more realistic,” he replies, shrugging. “You can’t fall in love at first sight. You can feel chemistry, a superficial attraction, but not genuine love. You don’t know enough about a person to fall in love at first sight.”

He hears Jihoon hum, in understanding or disbelief, he’s not sure. “Makes sense. So what do you think is up with Jeonghan and Seungcheol? It’s not quite superficial anymore, considering they talked the entire night.”

Joshua sighs. “Who knows anymore. I just get the feeling that we’re gonna get dragged into this.”


	3. My sanctuary, where fears and lies melt away

Joshua is right. The moment he unlocks his classroom on Monday morning, Jeonghan walks right in, seats himself on Joshua’s desk and asks, “Can I have Seungcheol’s number?”

He blinks. “What?”

“Can I have Seungcheol’s number,” Jeonghan repeats. “I didn’t get it on Saturday night, and I want to talk to him.”

“I, uh, don’t have Seungcheol’s number,” Joshua replies. “I can ask Jihoon for it, though.” He takes out his phone uneasily, passing his phone between his hands while he waits for Jeonghan to consider letting Jihoon know about this.

“Sure,” he finally nods.

Joshua’s still bewildered even as he types a text out to Jihoon asking for Seungcheol’s number. “Why do you want to talk to Seungcheol so badly?” He asks, although he’s almost certain he knows why.

Jeonghan doesn’t reply for a few moments, and Joshua watches in disbelief as his always-confident friend turns bashful and shy.

“Really?” Joshua asks quietly. “You like him that much?”

His best friend looks up and meets his gaze, and nods slowly.

The chime of his phone startles him, and he glances down to see Jihoon’s reply.

_ Jihoon: Seungcheol’s number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Tell Jeonghan that he better be serious if he wants something from him. _

  
  


Apparently, Seungcheol had pestered Jihoon about Jeonghan all day as well. Jihoon’s ranting over the dinner table about how distracted Seungcheol was, not even taking the time to eat.

“I swear, if we weren’t ahead of schedule, I would make him stay overtime and record his lines again and again until he loses his voice,” he scowls.

“That seems counterproductive,” Joshua comments calmly, taking a bite of his food. He gestures for the other to eat. 

“I don’t care,” Jihoon mutters, angrily picking up a spoonful of food. “He’ll have time to rest before he starts promoting.”

He can’t help but laugh softly. “It’s going to be weird. Your friend dating my friend.”

“If they get there,” the younger grumbles. 

“Jeonghan seemed really serious,” Joshua tells him.

There are a few beats of silence before Jihoon sighs and sets his utensils down again. “Can you answer something honestly right now?”

Joshua blinks. “Uh, okay.” He has no idea where Jihoon’s going with this, but he feels really on edge all of a sudden. Jihoon looks very serious, sitting across from him, and it makes his back straighten instinctively.

“ _ Will _ Jeonghan be serious about this? Seungcheol’s dedicated to his relationships, whether it be his friends, his family, or his partner. If Jeonghan can’t match that and take their relationship seriously, then I won’t even _ let _ him get anywhere with Seungcheol.” Jihoon’s eyes are blazing with protectiveness and his mouth is set in a firm line. Joshua’s never seen Jihoon look so scary, and even though they’re close friends (campfire-esque reaction aside) he’s never been more frightened by his husband. 

Yet, under that, there’s a deep sense of admiration and respect growing in his chest (and something unidentifiable pooling in his belly) at Jihoon’s words. It’s heartwarming to see Jihoon be so protective over one of his best friends. He thinks it’s because he would do the same thing if he were in Jihoon’s shoes.

“Jeonghan will be serious about this,” he tells him. “He’s done a lot of casual flings before, but he’s never been desperate to get someone’s number just for a simple hookup. He’s serious about Seungcheol, and if he isn’t, then you can be mad at me.”

Jihoon frowns. “I don’t want to be mad at you.”

Joshua ignores the warm feeling that rushes through his body and just smiles at his husband. “Then let’s hope that Jeonghan doesn’t mess with Seungcheol.”

  
  


Turns out, Jihoon doesn’t need to worry.

Jeonghan turns into a lovesick sap almost immediately, texting Seungcheol during his free periods and having lunch with his new boyfriend. He spends less time with Joshua, which is disappointing, but he soon entertains himself with texting Jihoon about Jeonghan’s antics. Jihoon seems annoyed at Jeonghan’s willingness to abandon Joshua in favor of Seungcheol’s company, but Joshua can tell that he’s at least a little grateful for Jeonghan’s dedication to his best friend, even if said best friend has also fallen sickeningly in love.

It’s around this time that Joshua’s secret is finally revealed. He’s stopped making the effort to put his ring on and off daily, and surprisingly, it takes another two weeks for a student to notice.

He’s just finished proofreading Minghao’s essay when the student says, timidly, “Mr. Hong?”

“Yes, Minghao?” He hums, not really paying attention.

“Did you get married?”

Joshua blinks a few times, stare going vacant for a couple of long moments before he finally decides it’s not worth any explanation. He shrugs and replies, “I did.”

“Can, can I ask when?” Joshua wants to correct Minghao’s use of the word “can,” but he holds himself back (no one uses “may” anymore, really--not even him.)

“Uh... about two months ago,” he says. “I didn’t really want to announce it to the whole school back then, but I don’t mind anymore.”

“Okay,” Minghao smiles shyly. “Congratulations, Mr. Hong. I’m sure your wife is very lucky.”

Joshua coughs embarrassedly. “I, uh am as lucky to have my husband as he is to have me.” He smiles reassuringly at Minghao, who’s turning a bright red.

A few more days pass before anyone else notices, and it’s a student who calls “Mr. Hong?” while he’s writing on the board.

“Yes, Seokmin?”

“Are you married? You’re wearing a wedding band.” Everyone else breaks out into hushed whispers, giving Mr. Hong fervent glances.

Before he and Jihoon became friends, Joshua would have hated the attention. He didn’t want to exacerbate his already tense relationship with his husband. Now, though, he feels comfortable with telling his students. He still doesn’t need them in his private life, but little things like his relationship status wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes, I am,” Joshua smiles as the classroom absolutely bursts into sound as students yell congratulations and questions.

“When did you get married?”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Who did you get married to?”

“Is it Mr. Yoon?”

Joshua laughs. “Calm down.” He waits patiently for the students to fall quiet before he continues, “I got married about two months ago, but I didn’t really want anyone to make a huge fuss at first, so that’s why I didn’t tell you. I did  _ not  _ get married to Mr. Yoon. He and I are friends, and nothing more.” He briefly considers telling them about Seungcheol, but decides against it because he’s a good friend who doesn’t talk about someone else’s private life to his students.

He gets several more questions the rest of the day, but they’re all innocuous and his students don’t ask any intrusive questions. A lot of them are happy for him, and he gets a lot of congratulations and well wishes. It puts him in a good mood for the rest of the day, which Jihoon immediately picks up on.

“Why are you so happy?” He asks, brow furrowed in confusion.

“I, uh, finally told my students I was married,” Joshua says shyly. “It was nice to get the weight off my chest.”

“You never told your students you got married?” Jihoon blinks in confusion.

“Not at first,” he smiles awkwardly, not quite meeting his husband’s eyes. “It felt weird to, when we were... awkward with each other.”

“Ah,” the younger nods in understanding.

“Also, I don’t always like to tell students about my private life. It feels a little intrusive sometimes, especially when they kept asking if I was dating Jeonghan,” Joshua shrugs.

Jihoon straightens in his seat. “Your students thought you and Jeonghan were dating?”

Suddenly, he feels like he’s made a mistake, though he’s not sure  _ what. _ “Jeonghan likes to tease the students and imply there’s something going on between us, and some of them take it seriously. He doesn’t do it now,” he hurries to reassure his husband, “but he did it once before, and it got out of hand.”

For a few long moments he stares at Joshua, reading his expression. Finally he relaxes and nods. “Okay,” he says. “I get it.”

Joshua nods reassuringly, though he has no idea what Jihoon gets now. Does he get that Jeonghan’s still loyal to Seungcheol? Does he get  _ why  _ Jeonghan would tease the students in the first place? “Good.” 

He doesn’t question anything until after dinner. He’s done all his work for the night, so he’s unwinding watching “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” while Jihoon cleans the dishes. Soon, he hears the dishwasher start, and the padding of Jihoon’s footsteps get louder before he senses Jihoon sit down next to him. Suddenly, Jihoon leans his head on Joshua’s shoulder. He almost flinches, but the warm campfire feeling comes back full force, and he almost melts into Jihoon.

The two of them watch TV like that, curled up next to each other and enjoying each other’s presence in relative silence. As the sun sets, he finds Jihoon getting closer and closer, their bodies angling towards each other naturally. Joshua can’t even tell who’s moving, but all of a sudden, Jihoon’s in Joshua’s arms, his own arms wrapped around Joshua’s waist. It’s not a tight or suffocating embrace; rather, it’s relaxed, comfortable. A natural progression of their relationship.

Joshua suddenly finds himself out of his daze. What is going on? How did this happen? When did this happen? Not just the cuddling thing, but the general affectionate thing. When had he realized that being around Jihoon was like sitting around a blazing campfire with his closest friends and family members on a cool summer night?

When had he realized he had feelings for his husband?

  
  


Nothing happens the rest of the night. When they finally decide they’ve had enough of TV, they separate and get ready for bed. They don’t get near enough to each other in the massive bed to touch, and Joshua wakes up with Jihoon’s back to him, curled up on the opposite end of the bed. It does nothing to help him sort out his feelings for Jihoon. 

When Jeonghan finally decides to grace Joshua with his presence at lunch, he takes one look at his closest friend before sighing and saying, “Spill.”

Joshua blinks. He hadn’t even noticed when Jeonghan had entered the room, let alone gotten this close to him. “What?”

“You have an ‘I am having a crisis’ look on your face,” he replies casually, sitting on one of the desks. “What’s been going on since I ditched you for my boyfriend?”

He rolls his eyes. “At least you acknowledge that you’ve abandoned me for love,” he says. “And I’m fine.”

“Not convincing,” Jeonghan states. “Spill.”

Joshua could still try to deflect and make excuses not to talk about. He could even just leave the room and find somewhere to hide. It wouldn’t matter anyway: Jeonghan would hunt him down and drag the truth out of him, word by painstaking word.

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I like Jihoon. Like, romantically.”

Jeonghan gives him a knowing look. “Did you just figure that out?”

For a brief moment, Joshua is completely thrown. What did he mean by that? Then he gives his best friend a scrutinizing look. “I’m not the one who took a few psychology classes, of course I just figured it out.”

“You’re also the best at denial and repression,” the biology teacher comments lightly. “So, you realized you like Jihoon, and you’re probably freaking out because you guys had an arranged marriage, so technically you were never in love to begin with so Jihoon shouldn’t even consider you as anything more than friends at this point.”

“Stop it with your psy--”

“This has nothing to do with my psychology history and everything to do with the fact that  _ I know you, Joshua, _ ” Jeonghan interrupts. “We’re best friends, even though I haven’t been acting like it recently--sorry, by the way, I’m working on it--and I know a lot more about you than you might think. I might even know parts of you that you don’t because you refuse to acknowledge them.”

“Okay, then what should I do?” Joshua says, frustrated.

“I’m assuming talking to him is not an option for you?” Jeonghan retorts sarcastically. “Communication is key in every relationship, Joshua, whether or not you start off on the right foot or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re friends or you’re dating. Communication is the answer to everything, no matter how much people hate it. You and Jihoon are friends, right? And don’t give me the whole ‘we’re friends because we have to’ bullshit,” he adds, holding up a hand to stop Joshua from opening his mouth.

Are they friends? Joshua thinks about the past two months, about how Jihoon smiles quickly in greeting whenever Joshua comes home, the jokes they share over dinner, the deep conversations he’s had with Jihoon, how he’s always been attentive to Joshua’s problems and willing to share his own. Even with the arranged marriage context, it still had all the qualities of a friendship. “Yeah,” Joshua relents. “We’re friends.” 

“Then  _ talk _ to him,” Jeonghan insists gently, leaning in to look Joshua better in the eyes. Joshua suddenly feels like he’s been trapped with the only way out being the one he hates the most. “I know it seems scary, but even if Jihoon doesn’t like you back, you’ll stop feeling guilty and burdened about your feelings for him. You need to be clear about your relationship with him in order to coexist peacefully for however long you stay married.” Jeonghan stops for a second, frowns and asks, “How long  _ are  _ you two going to stay married?”

Joshua freezes. “Um...we don’t know. We just kind of assumed it was... forever.”

The bio teacher gives Joshua a sympathetic smile, putting his hands on Joshua’s shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly. “Even more reason to talk to him. Don’t be afraid of your friend, Joshua. Change is good, especially when doing nothing is becoming mentally unhealthy.”

“Okay,” Joshua agrees quietly. “I don’t have to do it right away, do I?”

Jeonghan shakes his head. “You don’t have to,” he replies. “Just don’t put it off indefinitely.”

  
  


Even if Joshua genuinely wanted to tell Jihoon, he doesn’t get the chance to for a long time. The younger had left a message for Joshua when he came home that night, stating that he had several major deadlines at his company and would be working overtime at their office for the foreseeable future. Over the next few days, Joshua doesn’t really get to talk to Jihoon at all. He doesn’t want to text Jihoon in case he becomes a distraction, but he never sees his husband in person at all. He goes to work after Joshua leaves the house, and comes back in the early morning, long after Joshua’s fallen asleep. 

It’s startling how empty the normally warm condo feels when one of its occupants is barely there. He feels cold and lonely in a way that he’s never felt before, not when he’s by himself in his old apartment, not when he’s surrounded by women who adore him for all the wrong reasons, not even when Jeonghan leaves him to eat his lunch alone because he has someone and Joshua doesn’t. It’s  _ so  _ different, so alien and uncomfortable and it’s all too much. Joshua spends as much time as he can on the porch to avoid the suffocating absence that Jihoon leaves. He doesn’t know what to do to make it better. He doesn’t know what to do to make  _ Jihoon  _ feel better.

One night, Joshua’s startled awake by the sound of not-so-muffled cursing and the sound of something thumping into a wall. For a few moments, Joshua thinks it’s an intruder, but he hears a familiar grunt, and he relaxes. Jihoon’s home.

He checks his phone. 3:12 AM. It makes questions run through his head. What kind of hours is Jihoon working? Is he getting enough rest? Is he eating well? How stressed is he? Is there anything he can do to help?

Joshua probably should just go back to sleep, but he doesn’t, instead listening to the sound of Jihoon getting ready for bed. It’s kinda creepy, but hearing evidence that Jihoon’s in the apartment with him is oddly comforting. So he stays awake until Jihoon climbs into bed suddenly, startling him.

“Shit, sorry,” Jihoon apologizes. “Did I wake you up?”

“Mm, no,” he lies, turning over. “Did you just get home?”

“Yeah,” the younger hums. “Go back to sleep, it’s late.”

Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, or maybe it was all his concerns about Jihoon, but he finds himself curling close to Jihoon and mumbling, “I’ve been so worried about you. Take care of yourself, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”

There’s a few moments of silence before Jihoon says, “I wasn’t aware I was worrying you. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay, just miss you.” Joshua’s pretty sure his brain to mouth filter is completely off, but he’s too tired to care.

He hears Jihoon chuckle tiredly. “I miss you too. As soon as I finish all my projects, I’ll take a day off and spend the entire day with you. Okay? I don’t know if you’ll remember this in the morning, but I promise you that I will, even if you forget.”

Joshua would have responded, if he didn’t feel Jihoon’s arm looping around his waist and pulling him closer, until they were cuddled together in the middle of the bed, legs intertwined and hands leaving warm imprints on each other’s bodies.

  
  


Joshua has the best sleep he’s ever had.

He wakes up to a comfortable warmth around him and the soft rise and fall of Jihoon’s chest under him. The way they’re curled together makes his heart expand several sizes and makes the campfire feeling come back ten times as strong. The fact that he got to wake up to Jihoon at all when before he always woke up to a cold bed is enough reason to be overjoyed.

Then he looks up, and realizes that Jihoon is  _ awake,  _ and looking down at him with a gentle and affectionate gaze in his eyes. He’s pretty sure his heart is pounding fast enough to beat out of his chest in a puff of exploding... feathers, or something crazy like that. “Good morning.”

“Mm, morning,” he says back groggily, not quite awake (and not really wanting to be.) “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Didn’t know how to move without waking you up,” Jihoon replies immediately (a little too fast, but Joshua’s willing to ignore it) while rubbing slow circles into Joshua’s shirt-covered back. “I figured I deserved a late start today, anyway.”

“You do,” Joshua agrees. “I wish I had that.”

Jihoon looks confused for a brief moment before he chuckles. “Oh, right, it’s a school day. I forget that your job has set work hours. I’m so used to holing myself in my studio 24/7, except for when I need to eat, sleep, or attend a company meeting.”

“Not anymore,” Joshua shakes his head.

“No, not as much anymore,” his husband agrees. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem.” He’s about to say more, but the sound of his alarm shatters the moment, startling both of them apart. 

They stare at each other for a few moments before laughing. “I guess it’s time for you to wake up,” Jihoon teases.

He nods. “Well, if you’re not planning on leaving before me, at least let me make you breakfast.”

“You really don’t have to,” Jihoon protests. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” Joshua replies as he heads for the bathroom. “Let me just make sure you at least have breakfast, and then you can take care of yourself for the rest of the day.”

He doesn’t protest, and so Joshua makes both of them eggs and toast and they have a hurried yet pleasant breakfast at the table, the apartment feeling warm and welcoming again in that moment. Jihoon insists on washing the dishes while Joshua gets his things for work and hugs him goodbye.

“Thanks for breakfast,” Jihoon says when he steps back.

Feeling bold, Joshua replies cheekily, “You can thank me on your day off,” and walks out the door, closing it on Jihoon’s surprised face.

  
  


Jeonghan seems to be having a fantastic morning when Joshua visits him at lunch, singing a Korean song under his breath as he eats and scrolls through his phone. 

“You’re in a good mood,” he greets, setting his lunch down on the teacher’s desk.

The bio teacher doesn’t even flinch at Joshua’s sudden appearance, simply grinning up at him. “Seungcheol and I fucked last night.”

“Jesus Christ,” Joshua curses, turning to make sure the door was closed. “You’re just going to go out and say it like that at  _ school? _ ” 

Jeonghan waves dismissively. “No one wants to be near the bio and chem labs during lunch. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Then maybe I should go,” he teases, turning to walk away.

“Teenagers are more likely to spill chemicals and play with dissected animals than one Joshua Hong,” Jeonghan answers lightly. “You seem to be in a good mood too. What’s up?”

“I was awake when Jihoon came back from work,” Joshua replies. “We cuddled all night and he promised to take a day off and spend it with me when all of his projects were done. I also woke up to him there and we had breakfast before I left for work.”

For a few moments, Jeonghan just blinks. Then a wide grin splits his face. “How rom-com of you.”

It instantly makes Joshua frown (well, technically pout, but he swears it’s a frown) at his friend. “Shut up. I haven’t seen him in a week, can you blame me?”

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan laughs, holding his hands up in a sign of surrender. “It  _ is  _ really cute, though. Do you need any more evidence that Jihoon might like you if he’s going to spend an entire day with just you?”

“I mean, he said it at night, when he probably thought I was asleep,” he says. “Maybe I cornered him into committing to it when I mentioned it this morning.”

“Honestly, I think that means more than if he said it to your face,” Jeonghan counters. “If he said it to your face, what’s to say he won’t back out or make excuses? In private, though, when he thinks you’re asleep... isn’t he just talking to himself? It seems more like he’s making a promise to himself to spend more time with you, which he wouldn’t do if he didn't think it was important.”

“Important as in I’m someone he really cares about and may have romantic feelings for, or important as in he doesn’t want a marriage with someone who hates him?” Joshua says.

Apparently it’s Jeonghan’s turn to frown. “You’re an idiot,” he says calmly, though he’s starting to look upset. “If he wanted a relationship like that with you, he would have said so from the beginning. Did he?” Joshua shakes his head. “Exactly. Why are you so afraid of telling him?”

“Because no one ever liked me enough to stay, remember?” Joshua reminds him, tone bitter. “I apparently didn’t meet the standard of  _ any  _ guy I liked. How can I not look at Jihoon and think the same thing won’t happen to me again?”

“Because he’s your  _ husband, _ ” Jeonghan retorts, his own eyes fierce and determined. “You didn’t see what I saw at the party.”

“And what did you see?” Joshua asks, bitter. “You were too busy talking to Seungcheol.”

“Jihoon  _ adores  _ you,” Jeonghan states. “He looks at you a lot when you’re not looking, you know? And every time he does, he looks at you like you put the damn moon in the sky and hid the sun just so that he can work longer. He doesn’t even look at Seungcheol or Soonyoung the same way, and they’ve been close friends for  _ years,  _ Joshua.”

“But...”

“And whenever I ask Seungcheol about it, he says the same thing,” Jeonghan continues. “Jihoon turns into butter whenever he brings your name up, and it’s clear as day that he has some strong, not-quite-platonic feelings for you. I know that so many guys didn’t see past your gentlemanly manners but you can’t compare yourself with them. You’re not always below someone’s standard. You either click, or you don’t. You shouldn’t be afraid to confess to Jihoon. More importantly, you shouldn’t be afraid of your feelings for Jihoon. If he has feelings for you, then that’s good. If he doesn’t, that’s still okay, you know where you stand and then you can figure out how to move on.” The bio teacher stops ranting and takes a few breaths, stepping out of Joshua’s personal space but still keeping an eye on him.

“I just...” Joshua can’t bring himself to look at his best friend. He feels dizzy and off-balance, but he continues, “It’s just hard to go into this thinking that anything good’s going to come out of this.”

“Well, that’s understandable, but let me put it this way. If you don’t tell him, you’re going to dwell on what-ifs for a good portion of your life and your feelings will start to feel like a burden when they really aren’t. If you  _ do  _ tell him, then you get those feelings off your chest. If he doesn’t have the same feelings, then you know where you stand and you can start trying to move on from him. If he does, then you get to start a relationship with him,” Jeonghan sighs. “I know it sounds simpler than it is, but I’ve been through it, Joshua, and it’s terrifying.”

“What was it like with Seungcheol?” Joshua asks. “You seemed to get together pretty quickly.”

“That’s because I’m better at hiding how much of a nervous wreck I actually am better than you,” Jeonghan grins at the offended sound Joshua lets out before turning serious again. “I really was, though. I knew eventually I’d like to settle down, but I didn’t think it’d be this  _ soon.  _ I freaked out the entire weekend, did you know that? Seungcheol’s life is so different to mine. He lives a rockstar lifestyle but wants stability and someone to come home to for the rest of his life. I live a normal lifestyle but I want casual things without serious repercussions. It shouldn’t add up, and yet there I was, at your Korean party, talking the entire night with someone who’s literally famous about my deepest hopes and dreams. It was terrifying how much I wanted something serious with him.”

“But you decided it didn’t matter,” Joshua finishes.

He shrugs. “Took the entire weekend, but yes, I decided that it didn’t matter. But what I’m trying to say is that talking about your feelings is never easy, no matter how confident you are, because in the end, you’re opening yourself up to someone. It’s vulnerable, it’s messy, and if it’s not the right person, then you can get seriously hurt in the process. But when you find someone who would rather protect your heart than hurt it, it’s entirely worth it. It’s why people open up and get hurt over and over again. Because when they find someone worth it, it makes all the pain go away. You need that, Joshua. Even if you and Jihoon don’t work out platonically--which is a serious stretch, in my opinion--I firmly believe you two are soulmates in some capacity. That’s how sure I am of Jihoon’s... interest in you.”

“God, you make it sound so creepy,” Joshua groans, burying his face in his hands. 

“But does it make sense?”

He nods, still not looking at his best friend. “It does.” And he means it. He wants what Jeonghan has: not just a solid, healthy relationship, but open, honest communication with someone close to him. Honestly, he’s a little jealous that Jeonghan can form these deep connections when he barely talks to Wonwoo, who’s probably the least judgemental person he knows. And he knows that if Jihoon doesn’t like him back then it’s gonna suck and make the next few days--or weeks--awkward, but at least he’s not holding himself back from being himself and being  _ happy.  _

“Good,” Jeonghan nods approvingly. “Now get your head off the desk. I haven’t exactly cleaned it since the dissections last period.”

The look Joshua sends the bio teacher is heated enough to make the entire school erupt into flames instantaneously.

  
  


The next few days are nerve wracking, to say the least. Jihoon’s still holed up in his company’s office finishing all his projects, but he answers that’s he’s fine whenever Joshua texts to check up on him, so he lets him be. It’s still lonely in the condo, but with the promise of a free day with Jihoon, it’s much more bearable. He starts doing little things to both keep himself busy and remotely take care of Jihoon, leaving little reminders for Jihoon to take care of himself and packing extra lunches for him. It’s not much, but when he sees the notes and lunches disappear from his fridge, he gets ridiculously happy.

Everyone knows it, too. His students share discrete, all-knowing looks (that aren’t discrete or all-knowing whatsoever) in his classes, and Jeonghan and Wonwoo both give him strange looks at lunch. No one comments on it with the exception of Jun, who makes a few suggestive comments before Wonwoo shoos him away with a few light hearted words. 

This continues until one day, Jisoo comes home to a warm apartment and Jihoon curled up on the couch, passed out. He looks a lot worse than the last time he’s seen him: there are prominent shadows under his eyes and he looks skinnier and almost sickly. Still, he’s here, and he’s home early, so that must mean he’s done, and that’s enough for Joshua. He can handle helping Jihoon recover. He’s obviously not going to disturb his husband while he naps, so he drapes a blanket over him and settles at the dining table to get some work done while he waits for Jihoon to wake up. It’s hard, trying to focus when his husband is finally home and a few feet away, but he manages.

About an hour later, he hears Jihoon stirring on the couch. Looking up, he finds the younger sitting up, looking sleepily befuddled by the sudden appearance of the blanket. It’s enough to make him chuckle. “Morning,” he teases.

Jihoon starts, whirling around to stare at Joshua. “Oh,” he croaks. “Hello.”

“Hey,” he says softly. “Good nap?”

“Yeah,” the other nods. “I needed it.”

They both fall silent after that, but it’s not awkward or uncomfortable. It’s hesitant, waiting for someone to bridge the gap that had formed when they had been apart. Joshua had been excited for Jihoon to come home, but there was still so much they needed to talk about

Finally, Joshua coughs. “Did... did you finish everything you needed to?”

Jihoon nods. “I’m... I took a half day off today, and I took the whole weekend off.” He looks like he wants to say something else, but after a few moments, he just closes his mouth.

“I’m glad,” Joshua says. “You need time to rest.”

He gets a wry smile from the younger. “I look that bad, huh?”

“Absolutely awful,” Joshua grins before shaking his head at Jihoon’s mock glare. “No, you’re not that bad, but you look like you’ve been carrying the weight of the world the past two weeks. C’mon, go take a nice relaxing bath and I’ll make dinner. You can even use some of my bath salts if you want.” 

“Wow,” Jihoon snorts. “You sure know how to make a man feel special.”

“Only for you,” he teases, heading into the kitchen.

As Joshua makes dinner, he thinks over what he wants to say to Jihoon. For how excited he was to see the younger again, he hasn’t put much thought into what he wants to say to him. Should he confess immediately, or wait for a right moment? How should he phrase it? Should he even do it today, or should he wait until tomorrow?

He almost wishes he could call Jeonghan and ask for advice, but he remembers Jeonghan saying he was going on one last date with Seungcheol before his album drops and he gets too busy to spend time with his boyfriend, and so he stops. He can do this himself. He’ll just let things happen naturally, and confess when it feels natural to, as long it happens this weekend.

Jihoon comes out of the shower looking even more well-rested and refreshed. “The bath was a good idea,” he says. “I feel so relaxed now.”

“Good,” Joshua says without looking. “Now do you see why I like using bath salts?”

He hums. “Yes, yes, I’ll stop nagging you about them.” Joshua hears him move closer until suddenly, he’s all too aware that Jihoon is at his side, peering into the pot’s stirring on the stove. “Kimchi jjigae?”

“Yeah,” Joshua breathes, because having Jihoon so nearby is not doing wonders for his composure, “We had some leftover kimchi in the fridge.”

“Smells great,” Jihoon sighs, leaning his head on Joshua’s shoulder. 

“Hope it tastes as good as it smells, then,” Joshua replies. “I haven’t made kimchi jjigae in a while.”

“It’ll be better than if I made it, that’s for sure,” the younger retorts. “I ordered so much takeout these past two weeks.”

“I figured,” he says. “I bet you only moved to go to the bathroom or get your food. I’m almost surprised you haven’t gained any weight.”

Jihoon laughs into Joshua’s shoulders, the vibration running through his body like an electric bolt. “You know me so well,” he mutters.

“Yeah, well,” Joshua shrugs, accidentally jostling Jihoon’s head upwards. “Shit, sorry.”

The younger just laughs and moves away to set the table while Joshua begins moving the pot to the table.

When he sits down, he finds a glass of water at his spot. He chuckles to himself. It was funny how much he had obsessed over something as simple as a drink when he first married Jihoon. Mountains out of molehills, indeed.

Thankfully, Joshua did not botch the kimchi jjigae, and Jihoon tells him so. It’s so nice to be able to have dinner with him again that he could have said that the jjigae was the worst thing in the world, and he would still smile.

“Hey,” Jihoon says quietly, making Joshua look up at him. “I never told you, but it really means a lot to me that you make me Korean food.”

Joshua frowned slightly in confusion, unsure of how to respond to that. He had only wanted to give Jihoon something he was familiar with, and hopefully find a common ground with him, considering how different their backgrounds were. It was really nothing to be that thankful about.

Not making eye contact, Jihoon continues, “I didn’t eat Korean food much after I moved here because it reminds me too much of family business dinners disguised as ‘loving family reunions.’ I lost most of my appetite for Korean food before I even got to the US, and I always hated that my family ruined one of the only pieces of my country I could have over here. When you said you were going to make hotteok for that party, I’ll admit that I panicked for a bit, but then I remembered that you were nothing like my family, and I really wanted to see if you could make me love it again.”

It’s a stupid question, but the words leave Joshua’s lips before he can stop them. “And did I?”

His husband nods. “It makes a huge difference who’s at the table with you. Even though I didn’t know Jeonghan or Wonwoo before that day, I coult tell they were good people, like Seungcheol and Soonyoung and you. Eating a dinner that tasted like home in a place that felt like home with people who are your home was... incredible. I’ve never had that until now. So... thank you. For making me excited to come home to you and rebuilding my tie to my homeland.”

Joshua almost wants to tear up. It amazed him how one little gesture meant the world to Jihoon. It really didn’t take much to make an impact on someone’s life, and while Jihoon crashing into his life (and vice versa) had been a huge impact, their smaller gestures held the most weight. It was beautiful and poetic and almost unrealistic, and yet it was their reality.

He holds back, though, in exchange for a light, “so what you’re saying is you’re excited to come home to whatever Korean food I’m making, and not me?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. Don’t make me say it out loud.”

“Alright,” he hums.

 

It was incredibly relieving to fall back into the same patterns they had before Jihoon holed himself up in his office. Joshua’s not really paying so much attention to what’s on the TV, instead listening to Jihoon clear the table and wash the dishes. 

Soon enough, Jihoon plops down next to Joshua on the couch and lays his head on Joshua’s shoulder again. Joshua automatically throws his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder before he freezes, unsure of Jihoon’s response. Surprisingly, Jihoon curls even more into Joshua’s side, so he lets his arm relax and starts softly patting Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Don’t, you’ll make me fall asleep,” Jihoon almost whines, sleep already coloring his words. Joshua stops immediately and glances down to see if the younger is actually sleepy, and his heart stops at what he sees.

Jihoon looks like he’s fighting sleep, yes, but he also looks incredibly beautiful. He no longer looks like the standoffish, cold man who terrified Joshua in the beginning. He looks like the shy, caring man that Joshua felt so much for.

Now was the time.

“Jihoon-ah?” He calls in soft Korean.

“Yes, hyung?” Jihoon mumbles in Korean, fidgeting until he can look up at Joshua (for a moment, he thinks he sees Jihoon glance at his lips, but he’s so nervous it’s possible he made that up.) 

“I have feelings for you.” He states plainly, skipping the whole “I like you... no, I like-like you” conversation. He’s waited too long to beat around the bush.

Jihoon, to his credit, doesn’t look disgusted or repulsed. He’s shocked, yes, but there was no adverse or extreme reaction, which makes him a little less anxious. Jihoon still might not like him back, but at least Joshua told him. So he lets the younger think in silence, not pushing for an answer.

Finally, Jihoon smiles, not the little smile he gives when he’s somewhat amused, or the wide one he has when he’s laughing so hard he seal claps, but a nice, medium-sized one that’s so heartwarming with how content it makes him look that Joshua thinks his heart might actually burst into absurdly colored feathers all over Jihoon. “Me too.” His face is kind of red, and he’s not making eye contact, but it’s such a Jihoon answer that Joshua just laughs and pulls the younger in closer, the younger settling easily in his arms.

“I’m glad,” Joshua smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of his husband’s head.

  
  


That night, Jihoon and Joshua lay in bed and just... talk. They’re curled so tightly together that it’s hard to pick out whose body part is whose, but Joshua can clearly tell that Jihoon is comfortable with both the skinship and the close proximity as they talk about everything they couldn’t before.

“It was kind of terrifying when I realized I liked you.” Jihoon admits quietly, picking gently at Joshua’s fingers like they’re guitar strings. “We had just found some balance in our lives and I was worried my feelings would screw everything up.”

“Yeah,” Joshua agrees, one hand rubbing soft circles in Jihoon’s back. “I was so sure that you wouldn’t feel the same way because... I felt like I didn’t deserve anything more than friendship.”

“Why would you think that?” His husband doesn’t sound upset or offended, just curious.

“Well... we had an arranged marriage,” He begins slowly, not quite looking at Jihoon. “I thought I was lucky enough to be friends with you. Trying to start a real relationship with you seemed to be pushing it.”

Jihoon snorts, amused. “Trust you to overthink things like that.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Joshua replies, leaning in to press a soft kiss against Jihoon’s forehead.

The two fall in an easy silence for a few moments, just taking in the comfort of each other, before Jihoon says, “Joshua?”

“Hm?” 

“I didn’t date much before I married you,” Jihoon says softly. “And even when they got serious, they were never like  _ this. _ ” He gestures between them. “I’ve never felt as safe as I do with you. I meant it when I said our friends are my home, but you... you’re more than that. You’re my safe place.”

“Your sanctuary,” Joshua adds.

Jihoon nods. “My sanctuary.”

  
  


It’s late that night when Joshua finally finds the courage to kiss Jihoon, but when he does, Jihoon’s ready for him. The kiss is sweet and chaste, but it feels more like a promise of protection more than anything.

In that moment, Joshua feels like they truly have become each other’s sanctuary.

**Author's Note:**

> Titles from Utada Hikaru's "Sanctuary"
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this for the SVT Big Bang! The mods were really helpful and supportive, and this was a great first experience with writing contests. I actually liked having set deadlines; if there weren't, I probably wouldn't have finished it for several more months. Maybe I should set more deadlines for myself...

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for Sanctuary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15551298) by Anonymous 




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